“Like an Airplane Toilet, Sir.”

*fragment taken from already-fragmented thought patterns of subject Wordslinger, while trapped inside guts of large metal eagle.*

Time, once again, has lost all meaning.

The guy two rows or so ahead of me has been playing video-solitaire for over a full day now. Another guy’s screen has apparently become stuck looping footage of Jennifer Aniston for the last 9 hours or so.

But don’t ask me to talk about days, and hours and minutes…

Like I said. I’m stuck on a plane. Time has lost all meaning.

My own video screen has somehow reverted to playing a video presentation on “Airline Health Tips”. If I’m not careful, the guy onscreen says, I’m going to end up with blood clots in my legs.

Blood. Clots. In my legs.

Next, we’ll have alligators crawling out of the toilets, and AIDS being transmitted via improperly sterilized earphones.

And, I haven’t slept for 48 hours or so. But nevermind that, sleep is for the weak. Right Kurt? Fee? Anyone?

… I need a laptop with an internet connection. Yeah. At what-hundred-thousand feet. At my price point. Really really likely.

Still, weirder things have happened, especially to people who’ve stayed awake this long.

Like, what, blood clots in legs, and alligators in the toilets. That kinda thing, you know?

In X number of hours, given that time still exists somewhere, we are going to land somewhere cold.

And the first thing that they are going to do is dust the laptop, to check if it’s a bomb.

A bomb. The laptop. And it’s not Kurt’s, mind you.

A few minutes after that, they are going to ask if I have anything on my person, or in my baggage, that can be used as a weapon.

And, just to be cute, I’m going to grin, with as much charm as I can muster, and intone

“My dear… anything can be used as a weapon.”

Just to be cute.

Alright, that’s enough.

Now, God help me I’m off to watch “Fun with Dick and Jane”…for the third time in a row. Viva-la-freaking-airline-entertainment.

“This week is going to suck, isn’t it?”

“Like an airplane toilet, sir.”

-Ex Machina, the First Hundred Days

*Additional Edit::*

Obviously, I’ve managed to get here in one piece. That means only two things… Laptop. Internet. W00tag3.